2019 is about to arrive and it is time to turn our lives around with a whole host of simple but important changes that will make us happier. Resolutions can be tricky. For one, they’re usually quite ambitious and supposed to last the whole year and mean the following year you don’t have much self-improvement to do. This is very difficult to achieve.
Here are some funniest comments about New Year resolutions to make you feel better about breaking yours already. Resolutions don’t count if you’re hungover, anyway
- Delete the Facebook app from your phone and only log in to check it once a day.
- Give up the ‘I only smoke when I’m drunk’ social smoking habit you’ve had since you were a student
- Don’t overthink everything. Sometimes it’s OK for things to go wrong or people to not like you.
- Open all the hateful mail that comes in scary brown envelopes and deal with it straight away.
- Ensure that when you say ‘one more drink’ you are not lying.
- Don’t get an Uber for journeys you can walk in 15 minutes.
- I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.
- Check my work e-mail account at least once this year
- Switch my username to “password” and my password to “username” to make each a lot harder for hackers to figure out
- I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
- Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes
- Buy new clothes big enough to account for next year’s holidays.
- Pay off my credit cards every month in full… with my other credit cards.
- When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL… LOL!”
- Visit the grocery more often than restaurants, especially when free samples are being served.
- Lose weight by hiding it somewhere you’ll never find it.
- I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
- Claim all my pets as dependents on my taxes
- I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
- I will not tell the same story at every get together.
So what do you think about these New Year’s resolutions? Can you think of any funny ones? Then do let us know in the comments.